The Way of The Sacred Warrior (not Scared! :))
Today, as I walked home from Oxleas meadow, I allowed the pain in my heart to surface.
It had been there for a couple of days and I was ready to let it rise up, so that I could really feel it instead of stuffing it out of the way, burying it deep in my subconscious to only emerge at another time when triggered.
I felt so sad and in pain because I realised that for many many years, I had never felt safe to be myself and had not really respected my role as a mother, partner and career person.
The pain came mainly from feeling that all my efforts as a mother to my 10 year old daughter were as dust, insignificant, nothing. It came from a place of disrespect for the role of mothers and a greater respect for the role of fathers and a fear of those in power, especially men but also women.
My kind angels and guides brought my mind to mighty Isis who succesfully juggled Motherhood, Sacred Partnership and Career and to invoke her presence to help me to understand and realise that it is possible to be all, to be powerful, loving and balanced simultaneously and to draw upon her energy to heal these dark painful parts of myself.
All of life is experience and all of mine certainly is, with choices made to experiece pain and suffering so that the karma of past times is balanced and so that I can show others who also suffer the way towards liberation, happiness and joy.
So I say, don't be afraid to feel, don't be afraid to delve deep into yourself, to feel the rage, anger, hurt, despair, confusion because if you avoid these, you will never really feel and access the feelings of love, kindness, generosity, joy, bliss, ecstacy and all the positive energies of being in 3D.
Some of us choose a lighter path towards enlightenment and rememberance and it is good and proper that they do. Some of us choose a more convoluted way but both are equal, one is not better than the other.
So as I let the tears flow, I bless the experiences and the people who have given me this great gift of experience, without them, I would not now be as a Phoenix, rising from the ashes of my pain, transmuting the negative into the positive, the sorrow into joy.
So my brothers and sisters, I honour you and your journeys, for we all make this world rich with our myriad colours, tones and dances and I bless all our lives with the love and power of Source, that we may all become Magicians, choosing life and joy as we burn our pain in the flames of gold, rainbow and silver light and release all which hinders us from ecstacy, liberation and mercy.
The time has come to turn your heart
Into a temple of fire.
Your essence is gold hidden in the dust,
To reveal its splendour
You need to burn in the fire of love.
Mercury Retrograde 5th to 25th January 2016
Here is a code which I was guided to create and a picture of the evening sun yesterday to help you with this time which most of us find challenging.
I was guided to create this little doodle this morning whilst I was meditating. It has been a long time since I have done any sketching, so it was a little worrying what would emerge and I had to try a few times to get it "right".
It is a gift for all of us who are finding this Mercury Retrograde a little taxing: sometimes re-membering the past and especially the feelings of the past is a hard path, it is the path of the Sacred Warrior, facing his or her Shadow Self and putting the pieces back together again so that he/she can be whole once again.
As I was walking home from the shops, the sun was so golden yellow, it was even more golden than the picture and the rays were much larger: they seemed to envelope me completely, the picture does not pay homage to it at all!
But the doodle/code and the evening sun go together, bringing in the energies of Solaris our sun for you and I hope they both bring energy and love for you to complete this cycle coming up to the Full Moon so that you may experience more freedom, liberation and joy.
Angel Jophiel and winter Jasmine which is yellow also comes to mind.
Ananda is a crystal-crazy therapist, an