Listen to the voice, your voice!
Can you hear me?
I speak to you
When the breeze blows
Through leaves and branches
The bubbling streams
Are my voice
Urging you to stop
Stay a while and listen
Listen to the sound of your heart beat
This is my voice too
Listen to your Inner Child
Asking you to play
What are you afraid of?
That my songs as those of a demon’s?
You would know from my tone
Which is love through and through
I am within you
Mine is not a voice
Just wondrous love
Spilling over infinitely
So open your heart
Open your ears
Open your mind
For I am One, One with you!
My words can never
Lead you astray
But it is your perception
Which may mask my intentions
My purpose is yours too
To share our love
In all forms and creations
Across all Universes, space and time
So when will you stop
And connect with me
Connecting with you
Let us sit within our own silence now
And just be.
Changes of perception.
I didn’t have an amazing “awakening” suddenly visited by ETs or angels, nor did I see a flash of light and hear a loud voice in my mind telling me I was here to help people in the world, although I remember having a feeling when I was very young that I would do so.
It was all quite sedate and mundane really and it came about because my relationships were not going well, I didn’t like who I was and was angry at myself for this. I could not communicate at all and found that I was completely disconnected from my emotions. So what would happen was a great volcanic eruption of anger when something didn’t turn out right or when I was stressed out.
So I changed my diet because my back was aching all the time and my bowels weren’t working well and I started to read some interesting books including heart centred caring for children. All this happened whilst I had post-natal depression, but I knew I had problems with expressing myself way before this.
I was desperately unhappy that I was not enjoying motherhood. I found everything to do with caring for my daughter really hard. I didn’t know how to tap into my intuition to help me with her care. It made me really sad because I wanted this time to be full of fun and joy. I just got lower and lower and hated myself even more.
What helped me out of this state and into my present work as a therapist was the decision I made to change. I wanted to change because I wanted to be a better parent to my child. I lacked energy, I was angry, then morose, and nothing anyone said or did could get me out of that state of mind. It was very bleak indeed. I don’t know if one could call it the “dark night of the soul” because there were many days, months and years of it before I decided to change. I suppose one could call it depression.
The impetus for change was because of another: my daughter.
It got me out of my hole of despair and stopped me wallowing in guilt and hate for myself. My focus changed from just existing to having a reason to live and to live well.
Within a month of going raw vegan, I found my mind less foggy and I had so much more energy as well. All the low heavy feelings I had had before this disappeared. I was on my way out of this state of loathing, self-hate, guilt and anger. (I am not raw vegan any more but am still vegetarian and have my raw smoothie once a day.)
Now looking back and after reading other people’s accounts of their depression and how they emerged from it, I realise that there are some ways people can help themselves to cope with it or to emerge from it completely. I still have dark days, but I know how to help myself and also whom to get help from if I need to and I realise that these days do not last forever (unless I decided I want to stay in this state) and I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel even if at that point I cannot perceive it at all and believe me, the perception of light or relief can be non-existent.
I know now that I am in charge of how I feel and my emotional and physical state. I also know that I am in charge of my reactions to people, what they say and what they do. And I choose my response too, even if it means taking a few days to think of how I really feel about it.
Changing the diet and emerging from depression occurred in 2007 when Orla was two years old, almost 11 years ago.
It was 2009 when I attended the first Angelic Reiki workshop and suddenly, I was hearing voices and hearing crystals and baskets made by the Native American peoples at the British Museum. The voices weren’t loud or intrusive, almost like whispers and sometimes there were no words at all, just sensations of energy all around my body especially around the right side of my head. I really did not expect this and it certainly was not advertised. AR is an alternative healing therapy and I believe it strongly connects people to their Soul/SuperConscious/SuperGenius state.
This is why I love facilitating AR workshops, there is so much potential for people to connect with themselves, because ultimately, it is just a remembering of ourselves, not a reliance on any outside force no matter how benevolent and helpful it may seem to be.
After this my life changed and separation from Orla’s father ensued and we moved away from the family home.
I only attended workshops again in 2011 and completed my AR journey in 2012, taught my first ever workshop (got ill during it too! What resistance!) in October of the same year and I have not looked back since.
It was not a bed of roses, the money was tight and I was still home schooling Orla full time during the week but somehow I managed. In many ways, I still think that my new career has yet to really lift off, but I am working on it! I used to work as a qualified Architect in the city.
Neither did I suddenly happen to write my experiences and draw my geometric codes. I have just turned 48, it has taken all my life and all my experiences and many great workshops to get to this place now. My progress has always been slow and steady, doh, even if the changes have been pretty fast! Perhaps it just shows the contrast between my Ego/Personality and my Soul. Soul can be like quicksilver, whilst the Ego tails behind, sometimes dragging its feet a little…
The reason I am writing this is to illustrate that what the spiritual community term as an “awakening” can be a pretty long, drawn out affair, with very seemingly dull happenings and instances, but perhaps I am just really slow with the movement in my life and it’s not just my Ego kicking and screaming!
For others, they have a strong “awakening”, an urge or sudden knowing that they have a unique purpose which they would love to fulfil. For the very intuitive or psychic ones, they may even have visions or see beings and energies. Sadly I am not one of those, my gift does not include the seeing of energies, angels or ET’s. But it does happen to other people! Take Tom Kenyon who had visions of angels (and told them to go away which they did) and “saw” geometries unfolding before his eyes whilst he was out in nature.
For others, they have the dark night of the soul, where if I understand correctly, they experience a loss of purpose, a complete paradigm shift which can plunge them into a bleak and dark space, possibly depression.
The reason I am sharing this is because everyone’s way of dealing with changes is different, even life changing metamorphoses! And it is ok for all of us to have our own unique process.
I always say to my classes that I believe that there are as many therapies as there are people in the world because we are all different, so all our reactions and responses to sudden enlightenment or paradigm shifts will be different too. Sure there will be some similarities, but the way we manifest and navigate through them will be unique to us.
The important thing to know is that if you are in a dark state, it will not last forever, that you are not alone and there is help too! Just ask for it!
I know that whilst in that state and it does still happen sometimes, it is very difficult to see the way out and it is very lonely indeed. Now I know that lots of people go through it too.
Ultimately, you have a choice about how this process goes and how long it will take to complete so that you can begin your next glorious cycle of life.
It really showed me in hind sight, because even after getting out of depression, I didn’t realise that I was in it, I was so stuck in that state and it became a wallow in victimhood and self-hate too.
Some suggestions for people who are experiencing symptoms similar to what I have described above:
I hope this helps and I also hope it removes the idea that an awakening (which is really greater awareness to life, possibilities and self) has to be monumental or cathartic.
It can take many forms and guises and need not necessarily be difficult and dark. It can be a rapture! Why not! I am sure that for many youngsters, it could be that if not unnecessary as they are so open and aware anyway.
Ultimately we need to give ourselves the time and space for all our processes however long or short they are.
We are all evolving works of art! Enjoy it!
The image above is by Rasoulli
I am your Shadow, do not disdain me
I only exist because you created me
So that you could survive
When you were hurt and fearful for our life.
I am your Shadow
Apart and other, alien
A monster, a wraith, a murderer
Jealous, hungry and wrathful
You don’t want to see me
You can’t imagine that I am you
You don’t want to hear me
When I whisper our pain to you
My heart bleeds
My body carries the welts and bruises
From our experiences
I am disembodied, alone, so alone
I search for you
Like a lover
Yearning for our reunion
The re-membering of all our parts together
I reach for you
To share our pain, our sorrow, our anger
But you flee
Always running away from me
The longer we are apart
The heavier am I
The more you ignore me
The larger I become
For as I float apart in space
Our pain gathers apace
The memories clamour for speech
The wounds cry out for light
For to be acknowledged and
To be seen is to reveal
The depths of the pain
Do you think you can truly hide from me?
I am the supreme detective
I always find you through all space and time
Even when you shape-shift
You are the form to my shapelessness
You are the light to my darkness
You are the return journey home
You are me
Love is the balm for our wounds
Love is the succour of my loneliness
Love is the healer and joiner of all
Love calls to me and I come, I come to you
Through your eyes
For our Soul’s light to shine on me
Through your voice
For our Soul’s song to trill through me
My tears finally shed
My cries finding voice
My body, the embrace
The Love and Union I crave
I become lighter,
I become Lux and symphony
Weaving its way through
The suffering and agony
Through our Soul’s light
I merge with you again
Pain lost but not forgotten
Wounds cauterised, all bleeding ceases
We dance together
Our soul alight
Our story an aria
Our memories starlight
Our journey together, whole, begins again
The Soul's Call
I sense fine webs of flowing silk all around
Fluid rising and falling behind me
In tone and rhythm
I am dancing
But who sings this tune?
What are the whispers?
Why do you surround me?
The answer comes in sparks and bursts
Of colour, light, sound
And pulses in my body
Ebbing and flowing like my heart beat
I am you and you are me!
Ever dancing together
Despite of your ignorance!
Ever tied by webs which cannot, will not be cut.
I shine to you but your eyes do not see,
I sing to you but your ears fail to hear.
I stroke your face but still nothing!
I dance with you but we fall out of step.
I am you and you are me!
But it seems that you do not agree.
That doesn’t matter for,
Our ties do not depend on you.
They are woven by me,
You are my Beloved
I, your shadow with
Constant vigilance, dance and song,
I reach for you
Across all space and time
To remember us, me, you
To be together once, united again.
I yearn for you, for our sweet embrace,
I ache for times past where every
Motion, song and light,
Was a unified, magnificent symphony,
Our union birthed the stars,
Our combined voice:
The waves and pulses of solar songs,
Bursting through all dimensions.
But, you hardly know me,
But not for much longer,
You begin to see, sense, and hear.
My faint, sharp melody.
My ferocious dances.
My electric touch.
You are returning to me, for
I never give up.
A story about Cats.
Channelling from the Cat kingdom
When I was thinking about writing about Cats and their first appearance and evolution on Earth, I perceived these images: around 13 Light Beings in a circle surrounding the planet concentrating their focus on the area of the Cats’ birthing place on Earth. There were also further circle upon circles of numerous other Light Beings holding space for this event.
The time chosen for the introduction of this species to Earth was specific with regards to the placement of the planets of the Solar System to ensure the energies these incarnated Beings would embody would be enhanced and strengthened: yes even the Universe has its time frame with regards to our planets and also our relationship with other constellations!
It is the same for the introduction of other species as well and even for bacteria and viruses: particular periods of time when the planets were in alignment for a specific focus of a type of energy to be embodied and a type of service to be given or experience to be tasted.
There were many Light Ships as well because the Cat beings came not from this Solar System but from another Galaxy much older than ours for which I have no name or means of reference at this time. The Light Ships carried the Cat Souls, their Elders and also the three dimensional seed bodies prepared for them so they could exist in this plane with us.
Maybe this is where the myth of babies carried by storks to all corners of the planet to their parents come from! Storks substituting Light Ships carrying souls to be incarnated here!
(Light Beings is my term for Angels, Elohim, Ascended Masters, Galactic Masters and other high vibrational beings of love who are the archetypal programmes of creation, patterns and myriad consciousness which unlike our terrestrial governments have no hierarchy but are responsible for everything we see and understand at this level. Service is not the correct word, but every energy signature has a role to play and has a place in every state and dimension, just like there is a computer programme and body cells for every function which we need and they keep growing as our needs evolve and change, as consciousness changes and as the Cosmos grows.)
Like humans, the bodies for the Cat souls to live and evolve here had been prepared by other Star Races who are adept at this, and they worked closely with many Light Beings who oversaw and continue to oversee this process and the Elders of the Cat peoples to ensure that all was appropriate for the Cat souls who would live, evolve and ultimately also help here.
This would have happened for most of the new fauna and flora introduced to Earth. Not all the plants and animals we find here are from another part of space, many were born here on our beautiful planet and many still emerge anew as Gaia is prolific in her creativity. No matter how crazy and destructive people are, this planet keeps growing new plants and new creatures.
The Light Beings were present in such concentration and numbers, to create the energy and to enable the high vibration of the Cat Souls and their Elders who accompanied them to this new place of incarnation to exist in this dimension before they took on their new 3 dimensional forms or bodies created for them. Light Beings continued to hold space for the fledgling Earthling cats to ensure that their species could take root and thrive here.
Whilst this was happening, the Earth was surrounded by the energy of grace (Light Beings radiating love) which helped the rest of the beings on the planet celebrate and welcome their new neighbours.)
The Cat people are very ancient, certainly more ancient than the time humans have walked this place and more ancient than some of the Souls incarnate here as humans. Even before humanity, the Cat people had already evolved from previous three dimensional life forms to the higher dimensional planes where they would no longer require a physical vehicle. You could say that some of their people had already attained Angelic status and beyond even before the introduction of their family here on Earth. These became their Elders or Devas and I perceived them as elongated balls of light, their colour a mixture of white and silver, I would describe it as white starlight. They did not reflect light, like the Light Beings, they emitted their own light.
So why were these particular beings introduced to this planet?
When the call was sent to create this experiment for Souls who wanted to explore free will, the Cats (and many other beings) came forward to assist these souls and also for the opportunity for more of their kind to evolve and achieve more learning and also evolve alongside people.
So the souls of cats would inhabit this world to remind people about curiosity, focus, independence, sensuality, sensual pleasure (listen to those purrs!!) ferocity (watch out for those sharp teeth and claws!), protection, passion, stealth, the ability to see and perceive many dimensions at the same time and to help is to recognise that this is what we do: inhabit many dimensions simultaneously, love of self and a healthy selfishness, warrior spirit, power, strength, nobility, enjoyment and appreciation of home and for the domestic cats: hearth, adeptness at setting boundaries and love fed through steady companionship, strength, consistency and kindness.
The Cat energy of community is brought through mainly the lions, the lionesses forming the largest number of a pride and all related, sharing the care of the cubs and making most of the kills. Most other cats are generally solitary and territorial, except at birth and during the mating season.
Isn’t it interesting then that Lions are regarded as the King of the animal kingdom?
The lions demonstrate strength and nobility through their shared bloodline, their ability to work together to hunt, the power and strength of the males to exert their right to a place in the pride, the acceptance of the lion or lions by the lionesses in the pride and trust that the young will be respected. No longer is the belief held that new dominant males kill the young lions or lion cubs.
When the first cats were brought to this planet and merged with their new bodies, they were curious as ever, watchful, playful and alert, not unlike domestic kittens nowadays.
They prowled and looked around carefully before moving away from the vessels they travelled in but still within the safe enclosed space created by the Angels and Elohim. The strong connection to their souls and Elders persisted for a few generations to anchor their particular characteristics in this plane, then they started to evolve and change as they came into contact with more people and other animals, predator and prey and all our collective karma and purpose became even further intertwined.
There was at first just one family of Cat but they then branched out to become many of the big and wild cats we still have. These are a product of the natural evolution of this planet but I believe the unique characteristic of each type stemmed mainly from the soul merging between the Cats and different human peoples and also the geography and energy of the place they chose to dwell in. So the different branches of Cats were also a direct expression of the Earth’s energies, the particular Genius Loci of each place and the different families of humans in those areas.
In other words, there was a sharing of dreams or intentions and a recognition between the souls of the humans and cats that this species would embody certain characteristics to remind and teach people of them. The Cats responded by developing characteristics and traits necessary for survival and success in an area.
What happens when animals become extinct? (I also wonder if a certain animal’s extinction is due to the lack of these qualities in our societies now.)
We potentially lose that strong connection or the example of the particular qualities they bring to this world. If we were to lose the Cheetah, we would lose speed, resilience, independence, watchfulness, focus, devoted and protective parenting by the mothers.
This is speed not just for the sake of expressing and enjoying freedom and flight (like horses) but speed for the sake of the kill for survival and food, honed focus and alertness for other predators in the vicinity to ensure success and the exercise of precise timing when to start the sprint and stamina to keep up with the fast prey. They have 360 degree awareness of the environment and movement around them! And they are careful which prey out of many they concentrate their attention on. This intelligence required for choosing the best prey to exert their energy upon so that they may continue to live and thrive. They do not make decisions lightly but after consideration of all options and parameters.
We share this world with so many other beings: plants, fungi, bacteria, viruses, animals, elements and even many other vibrational beings which live in other dimensions like fairies for example.
There is always a reason for the existence of anything anywhere, or the lack of anything.
Many indigenous tribes believe that there is a plant on Earth for every illness known and unknown to us.
We live in symbiosis with all inhabitants in this world, perhaps some have more parasitic relationships than others and that is again a teaching for the parties but we are in this and have evolved together.
We are not and have never been separate from all others here on Earth.
I hope that we begin to remember this once again and once again love and respect all life here and across the Universe and Cosmos.
HAPPY NEW MOON!
Today is the New Moon, a fantastic time to begin anew!
You see, contrary to what we have been told since young, our path does not just have to go a certain way: the way of family’s past, or the way society dictates: it can go any way we want! Hopefully it is directed by your heart and soul and not by the fear and anxiety driven Ego.
There is no Right Way, there is only the Evolving Way, spurred on by our love for our dreams to come to fruition.
When we are directed by our Souls towards what we truly love, there is no need for concern about selfishness or cruelty as our Souls are the receptacles for our Highest Divine Creative Potential, the greatest magic of all our lives and experiences. The dreams from this source will only ever benefit the world and all across this galaxy and universe.
So kick off all the rubbish about dropping projects or switching parties being selfish because ultimately you have to be true to yourself, who else would be if not you?
The point is, you can always stop and start again at any time. You can make up your reality and change it at any time. Yes, the time it takes for your reality to match your dream might not be instant but at least you have started your journey towards the dream driven End Result. And you will need to constantly keep maintaining your focus on your dreams or they will fall by the side and be trampled by your lack of faith and discipline!
So what is stopping you now? Don’t you hear your dreams calling you? Isn’t there the pull of something around you, the whispers gradually getting more frantic as you keep ignoring them until all there remains is a deadness and weight of unfulfilled projects and desires….
Time for decisions!
This Thursday 21st December, is the Winter Solstice which in the Northern Hemisphere, the longest night and the shortest day. This is the day when the ancients of this part of the world celebrated first the dark, then the return of the light.
I will create a special Transmission on the day which will be free for all who sign up for it. This transmission will be about reclaiming our power through celebration, a celebration of all that we are: light and dark and also a celebration of life!
Why I decided to continue to facilitate Angelic Reiki workshops
I asked myself this year whether I wanted to continue facilitating Angelic Reiki workshops.
Did it still form part of my purpose and would it continue to bring me fulfilment?
And the answer of my Soul is yes.
I love facilitating the Angelic Reiki workshops because it is through this system that I really connected to my own Soul/Genius/Highest Creative Potential energy. And the wonderful thing about this is that it also connected me with other peoples' soul energy! It helped me to appreciate that I am not just this personality or ego ruled by fear, anger, depression or anxiety but that there is real gold within which just needs to be unearthed. And also to perceive it in others.
Accessing that gold consistently is a challenge and ensuring I follow my dream is another challenge but it is through attending all the four AR workshops that my journey into myself and ultimately out of myself began.
I was a complete mess when I attended the first workshop: I was completely disconnected from my emotions, didn’t know what I wanted although I knew what I didn’t want and I was secretly furious within, that anger and rage escaping like a volcano at times, yikes! It was mighty embarrassing.
However, with help, awareness and determination, I completed all four Angelic Reiki workshops and began facilitating them in London. There was a lot of change going through my life when all of this happened but it was necessary for my evolution, which continues.
Running my own workshops were frightening to begin with and sometimes they still are! What's going to happen??? Did I prepare enough for the workshop??? Will my participants ask really hard questions and I don't immediately know the answer? And many more.
But always through every workshop was the constant thread and music of Soul, of the Divine, of all the Magic of each and every participant, because the choice was made to attend and to discover more about ourselves and more about life and the cosmos. And ultimately to move on and evolve with this knowledge and create our dreams.
I have found that these workshops were not just for people who wanted to go on to become certified healers but also for those searching for more answers, greater awareness of their true nature, their divinity and their own special type of Magic. This Magic would then have the potential to colour this world with the participants’ unique hues and gastronomic flavours and musical sounds, tones and vibration. Thus I believe, bringing greater art, beauty, pain, sadness and glory of this type of life to our world.
You might ask, what do you mean by the pain and sadness? Surely spirituality and healing is all love and light??!! Well, this life is not just all roses and cuddly bright soft toys, it can be hard, dangerous, cruel and nasty. This is the duality of light and dark playing out always. This is our Ego (shadow) and High Self/Soul (Light) and we are both, no matter how much work we do, which still exist side by side influencing all the choices we consciously or subconsciously make.
But it is this journey which makes our experiences so rich.
My own journey of pain and sadness has equipped me to do this work and to want to help others out of their state of pain and powerlessness into creativity and empowerment through awareness and experience. Without the cr*p, I would not be able to write this or have the desire to teach. I would be doing something else.
As I said before, not all who attend decide to become therapists and facilitators of this system which is absolutely fine.
But they do leave changed because for that period they glimpsed their true nature, swam in their own Soul energy and recognised the Divinity in themselves and others too, shattering the illusion of separation.
I love these workshops also because they demonstrate in a very practical grounded way that we are all magic, we are all Divine, and there is so much greatness in each and every one of us.
The exercises take us beyond our ego world into another state altogether. They take us into a state of innocence and pure love, devoid of Ego, fear, anxiety, depression and rage.
It takes trust to connect in this way and to become the conduit for the energy of our Soul and the Divine for ourselves and others.
All it takes is the openness and a desire for this connection and it can be pretty easy.
Each time a person connects to their Soul state, the potential for transformative change for the rest of us increases because we are all connected through energy and through vibration. The potential for the rest of us to achieve that state is increased and made easier by the ones who achieved it previously.
So this is why I love running workshops and these ones especially: because they immerse me almost effortlessly into my own Soul energy and the Soul energies of the participants and I actively experience transformation and witness the transformation of others simultaneously.
It is such a great privilege and I want to continue to experience this.
Facilitating the Angelic Reiki level 1+2 workshop
After facilitating an Angelic Reiki Level 1+2 workshop last weekend for the first time this year, I was pleasantly surprised and reminded by how wonderful and challenging the energies can be, and how much I learn each time I run these workshops from the participants and the process itself.
I was also reminded that there are no absolute rights and wrongs concerning the way the participants receive, accept, integrate and use these energies and the new tools they acquire before, during and after the workshop. As I do not “attune” the participants, they receive this process through their Angels in the way that suits them at this time, which can create a different experience each and every time they receive a subsequent attunement because of their own personal evolution.
This first in the series of the four Angelic Reiki certified workshops has four healing exchanges as part of its structure, held over two days: two exchanges on the second and final day of the two and a half day workshop.
The healing exchanges actively introduce the participants to the vibration of the Angels in the giving and receiving of this energy. This experience can be vastly different or amazingly similar depending on the participant! Both roles as receiver and giver requires a level of trust and an ability to just “do nothing”. For many of us this can be a real challenge, even if one is part of a small group, knows the other participants and has experience with other intuitive healing modalities.
The energy of Angelic Reiki is I believe, the energy of the Highest Divine Love and Will, the Highest Creative potential, the Archetypal energy of all creation or of all this world and Universe as we understand or perceive it. I think of it as all the programmes (like a computer) through which everything derives its form and structure.
This is why Angels have recently been represented by Geometry. Number and Geometry is apparent in the natural world through the Fibonacci series in plants, proportion in sound and the Golden Section in our bodies as demonstrated by Leonardo DaVinci in his drawings. We can see it in the spiralling of galaxies, in the forms presented by electron microscopy of electrons spinning around a central nuclear core. Number and Geometry are inherent in everything from the microscopic to macroscopic level: in the structure of crystals and of elements and molecules. The hexagonal structure of snowflakes is another example of Geometry in nature.
So the energy of Angels or the Angelic Kingdom of Light as it called by the founders Kevin and Christine Core, is not personable or fluffy. It can be a really powerful force to encounter depending on your perceptions and preconceptions. It can be frightening because of how you may have experienced power in your childhood, it can be liberating or annoying too, as some have testified!
The first time I experienced this energy in my adulthood, it was the energy of home, real home without the pain, anxiety, power struggles and all the stuff that creates our wounded human egos. It reminded me of the joy, light, innocence and freedom of childhood, the wonder of watching beautiful sunsets at the beach and of standing under a tree watching sunlight filtering through the leaves and branches. I felt safe and the old feelings of being alone vanished for that period of time when the connection was made. I loved it which is why I attended all the Angelic Reiki workshops and began to teach and facilitate it.
The Angelic energies can be tough to experience as one sits in this energy for the required amount of time (between 17 and 19 hours) as it can play out your patterns as you struggle to reconcile that there is more to you and life than meets the eye, than you ever thought possible. That indeed you are more than your personality and ego, your potential is far greater than your perceptions allow you to think and feel. It challenges ones assumptions of responsibility and indeed helps people to reconcile their role in the lives they live.
It can strip you of the illusion that you are separate, in fact, it challenges this as the healing exchanges actively involve the merging of the giver/healer with the receiver and with the Angel or Angels who join the treatment. This can cause real concern for some participants who have had their boundaries violated and understandably great resistance can be experienced during this process. However, it is worth cutting through the fear to experience the connection with another in this environment. It can be liberating and ecstatic.
A further challenge which is common especially amongst established and successful energy therapists and healers is the space of non-doing. This modality requires complete focus on the connection with the recipient and the Angelic forces of Light, as the giver is merely the tube or bridge between the two. Actually, one is not giving, there is no action required, just being.
The healer connects with their recipient after preparation of self and space and after the intention of the most perfect healing for both parties, as both receive. The healer contacts and merges with the Angelic forces which bring in the requisite vibration for the recipient to evolve at this time: the decision is made by the Soul of the recipient what this is.
The three merge and the “giver” holds the focus, being and radiating this energy. There is no doing or giving required, perhaps some observing but nothing more.
This is why I love this practice or process: for that short period of time, I do not have to think or feel and I get to experience another aspect of myself in all its glory, for the recipient is another vibration or emanation of Source, of the Divine. The recipient is another aspect of me and I do not even need to work or toil for it, I just have to be and let it flow through me and back again.
My biggest challenge facilitating these workshops is as a perfectionist, having to let go of the inner critic within, constantly nagging at me about whether I had provided and prepared well enough for everyone, whether there had been sufficient information sent to the participants prior to the workshops, whether I had checked in to ensure that it was appropriate and safe for each of them to attend, whether I was running it according to the structure and principals set out in our guidelines and charter, whether I was prepared enough, was I being authentic and honest about their connection to the energy and anything else, was I radiating enough of the Divine energy I was prattling on about during the workshop…and so on.
Sometimes it is easy enough to ignore this background commentary but this time it was more difficult as I had not facilitated these workshops since last November, almost a year’s absence from the energy of the workshop.
I had to just get on with it and cut through all my anxiety and resistance, knowing full well from previous experience thankfully, that everything always resolves itself perfectly and to just maintain focus on that.
On the final day, it was a pleasure to present each participant with their certificates as all had successfully and beautifully completed the whole process from start to finish in the most loving, respectful and graceful way. For me, the success of my role as facilitator is measured in the ability of the participants to merge, embody, radiate and integrate the energies we work with during the workshop, and they all did! Wow!!!
I am so glad that I facilitated the workshop last weekend, so grateful that I did not create a state of illness or any other drama so that I had to cancel it, and so grateful to the ladies who participated so magnificently, gracing my space with their presence and wisdom.
Connection to our Star Families
When I was around 12 years old, I started to read the science fiction novels in my father’s library, most of them had been written by Fred Hoyle who was an eminent mathematician and physicist. I also read some of John Wyndham’s books (The Triffids and The Midwich Cuckoos amongst them) many of which were less than positive about non-terrestrial races.
The stories of aliens and consciousness contained in bodies other than solid intrigued me: it did not repel me but indeed broadened my mind to consider other forms and ways of existence.
I also never had any problems accepting that other forms of life may exist throughout the galaxy. The thought that we were the only form of intelligence in the whole galaxy was laughable.
So when I began this journey into myself through the vehicle of healing and energy work, I attended some workshops which introduced me to Star People.
When I attended the first one, in 2012 or 2013, I did not know what it was about, in fact I had no idea what I had signed up for but the poster caught my attention and I paid for my ticket.
The workshop was amazing and during one of the meditations, I did not want to return to the room we were in as I felt so at home with these beings. I was very upset as a result!
Since then, intermittently, I have communicated with Star people through meditation and this year have begun once again to work with my own Star family. This has happened organically through the Angelic Reiki workshops I facilitated as there is a strong multidimensional aspect to this work. I also found myself working with Star People when I ran crystal workshops.
If you find that this is completely crazy, I would not blame you. I found this very difficult to write and distracted myself by eating lots of chocolate, watching YouTube videos and detaining myself whilst out walking for longer than I originally intended! It has taken me a whole day to pen this short article! And I have finally posted it four days after I began writing it! And why? Because the subject matter is a little zany!
How does that make me look in your eyes??!! Crazy?!
Indeed it is only recently that it has been proven that the world is a sphere through the photographs of Earth taken from space during the voyage of 1969 to the moon. So it may take some time before the human race admits and allows this idea to anchor more in their consciousness: we are not alone and actually we are all related, not just terrestrial families but all the alien ones too. For are we not all made from star dust? Plus we share the same universe, not unlike all the different races on Earth, sharing the same land and seas, just on a different scale.
I do not believe we are the only race to exist in this vast galaxy and universe (plus I do believe that are other universes), we certainly are not the only sentient beings on this planet. It is only logical that with so many stars and so many planets and moons, there must be other life, but perhaps not as we know or understand it.
So why am I writing about this?
Because I really believe that it is time to embrace being not just a global terrestrial citizen, but a galactic one and indeed a universal one.
Just like a cell cannot be separate from its body, all solar systems make up a galaxy like parts of a huge living creature. And of course, all galaxies and the space which lie between them then make up this universe. And universes make up the cosmos and it goes on ad infinitum.
Instead of vibrating in separation, we need to extend our connection beyond humanity, not without first embracing all the forms of life on Earth including all the elements which make up our structure, all fauna and flora and the whole planet too.
Because surely this is what love is, the connection with everything, everyone and all. Our connection with vast numbers of stars and space, which are just an expression of the great macrocosm of the universe. A connection within ourselves and also without and beyond the boundaries of our planet.
Ultimately, we choose how we experience our lives.
The need to refocus, constantly because we live what we create.
What we create comes from our choices: subconscious and conscious and where our focus is placed.
This is the first time I am writing about my experience with depression, because it has illustrated so clearly to me, the importance of choice. My own choice affected what I felt about life and how I lived my life. Choice had and has the power to change my whole perception and experience of life.
Depression showed me that I had a choice in how to experience my life: I could either continue to wallow in sadness, guilt and despair or decide to live, think and feel differently.
I chose the latter after two dark years of post-natal depression.
During that period, nothing could change the way I felt: heavy, always tired, listless, bored, lost, hazy: my brain was slow and felt dead, I put on weight and found caring for my daughter a challenge. There were times when I was very happy being mum to my bunny, but it would not last and I would inevitably sink into a quagmire of self-hate, guilt and sorrow.
Here I was, able to be a full time mum by choice, a loving husband, and receiving complete unconditional love from a small but beautiful little being, but yet, I was unhappy!!! Miserable! How and why? I wondered myself but I just didn’t have any answers for it.
Nothing my ex or anyone suggested worked for me either and I had excuses and myriad reasons to counter and undermine all that they said: nothing convinced me to experience life differently and how I felt about it: I was a complete and utter disaster!
For two years, I muddled through, with varying states of deep darkness, occasionally contemplating suicide, then feeling guilty about it. Sometimes I would break through the surface of my dark depths and I would experience deep joy but these were few and infrequent. I did not talk about this openly or freely with anyone.
One day, I woke up, after a few months of eating lots of cake (because I felt like it) and decided that I had had enough of feeling this way: I was sick and tired of feeling washed out, tired, miserable, powerless and colourless. Changes needed to be made.
I made a choice to change how I felt and chose to make changes to support me.
I knew that diet was a major part of creating change because I had been suffering from constipation and back aches for a few months. I found an article about a raw food chef in the Observer magazine and went on to investigate this further. It seems that even a 50% raw food diet would aid better health.
So I decided to change our diet from predominantly organic meat based to raw vegan, with the exception of cooked fish and eggs for my daughter and cooked carbohydrates for my ex in the evenings. We had fresh home-made juice every day and I also installed a reverse osmosis water filter in our kitchen.
Within four weeks, my mind was clearer and I no longer suffered back pain and constipation. I no longer suffered cramps from menstruation either.
I also found more information on home schooling and discovered the large network of home schoolers in South East London and began attending the weekly meetups with the parents and children.
I am so grateful for the internet and the availability of books and information that I found my way through all this and found friends in this community.
But none of this would have happened had I not made that first decision: that choice to have a different experience of life. I wanted good health and not an achy body, dead head and constipation. I wanted happiness and contentedness, not guilt, worthlessness, despair and anxiety.
I did not want to feel unhappy and low all the time, only concentrating on what I found wrong with life and missing all the beauty which was so obvious around me when I decided to open my eyes it.
I also craved higher energy levels to enable me to play with my daughter and to continue to breast feed beyond the age of 2.
I wanted to have more fun and to enjoy my family and myself and to watch my daughter grow and thrive and to relearn about magic through the eyes of my daughter’s innocence instead of my own jaded ideas from my childhood and later years.
So I chose life instead of destructive, over indulgent self-centeredness.
No one can make decisions for us, there is no one else to blame for our experience of any situation we find ourselves in, no one else can convince us to think or perceive life differently. Only we can.
Depression taught me this and for this I am grateful. It was a horrible lesson and I would not want to repeat it! But it has forever impressed upon me how my choice determines the outcome of all my experiences.
However, it has taken hindsight to truly appreciate what depression did for me and a greater awareness of the importance of choice and choosing where to concentrate my focus this year through attending Ryan Pinnick’s and William Whitecloud’s workshops.
Only we can decide if we want to be happy and I do not deny that at times we have to allow ourselves to feel the exact opposite and everything in between.
Being human gifts us the whole range of emotions and thoughts: joy, rage, boredom, murderous: but it is our decision if we allow these to pull us down, to commit murder or to be deliriously happy.
It is completely and utterly up to us.
Ananda is a crystal-crazy therapist, an