Running away from Ourselves

The Shadow

The image above is by Rasoulli

Shadow
I am your Shadow, do not disdain me
I only exist because you created me
So that you could survive
When you were hurt and fearful for our life.
 
I am your Shadow
Apart and other, alien
A monster, a wraith, a murderer
Jealous, hungry and wrathful
 
You don’t want to see me
You can’t imagine that I am you
You don’t want to hear me
When I whisper our pain to you
 
My heart bleeds
My body carries the welts and bruises
From our experiences
I am disembodied, alone, so alone
 
I search for you
Like a lover
Yearning for our reunion
The re-membering of all our parts together
 
I reach for you
To share our pain, our sorrow, our anger
But you flee
Always running away from me
 
The longer we are apart
The heavier am I
The more you ignore me
The larger I become
 
For as I float apart in space
Our pain gathers apace
The memories clamour for speech
The wounds cry out for light
 
For to be acknowledged and
To be seen is to reveal
The depths of the pain
Requiring release
 
Do you think you can truly hide from me?
I am the supreme detective
I always find you through all space and time
Even when you shape-shift
 
You are the form to my shapelessness
You are the light to my darkness
You are the return journey home
You are me
 
Love is the balm for our wounds
Love is the succour of my loneliness
Love is the healer and joiner of all
Love calls to me and I come, I come to you
 
I yearn:
 
Through your eyes
For our Soul’s light to shine on me
Through your voice
For our Soul’s song to trill through me
 
My tears finally shed
My cries finding voice
My body, the embrace
The Love and Union I crave
 
I become lighter,
I become Lux and symphony
Weaving its way through
The suffering and agony
 
Through our Soul’s light
I merge with you again
Pain lost but not forgotten
Wounds cauterised, all bleeding ceases
 
We dance together
Reunited
Our soul alight
Our story an aria
Our memories starlight
Our journey together, whole, begins again